The Garmooch
by Ai Roku
Summary: A little Seussian insanity in the Inuyasha universe.


**Happy Birthday to Dr. Seuss! He was a huge influence on me as a child and he was a great man who deserves to be honored.**

**Unfortunately this silly little oneshot was the best I could do, I hope you enjoy!**

**(Written for KEdakumi's challenge.)**

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters or quotes from the works of Dr. Seuss. I do however own the Garmooch! XD

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In a time far away there lived a ruthless spider, who's attitude could not be snider.

One day the spider hatched a sneaky plan that would make sure his enemies would never foil him again.

So pleased was he with this plan that he began to "Kukuku," like a madman.

Meanwhile his heroic enemies were going about their usual routine;

blissfully oblivious to the doom awaiting them from the scheming fiend.

Then suddenly down the foolish hanyou went, when the disgruntled miko yelled, "Sit!"

Before the puppy eared boy could even so much as yell in retaliation,

The group was suddenly confronted with a creature that defied even the most vivid of imaginations.

It was tall and broad, covered with fur in all colors of the rainbow; and huge hands and feet that were clawed.

It had large violet eyes with long curling lashes and whiskers on its cheeks whose ends had ribbon ties.

The top of its pointy head was bald except for a single sausage curl that reached down to its wide forehead where it sprawled.

"What the heck is that thing?" asks a confused Inuyasha as he draws the Tetsuseiga unsure if he should swing.

To the shock of the surprised shard hunters the odd creature says in a voice that couldn't be blunter,

"I am The Garmooch, and I have come to show you a place full of fun my fine pooch."

Without warning it produces a pinwheel and begins to blow, and a shifting mist is the last thing our adventurers know.

The miko regains consciousness and stares at the outrageous scenery before her with a sense of helplessness.

This place will definitely cause eyestrain she thought to herself, while out loud she exclaims, "This is insane!"

"Hn," is how this statement is greeted. Startled the miko quickly looks to her side to see Sesshomaru there seated.

"Um, Sesshomaru are the others here too?" she questions while looking around wondering what they should do.

"I have found only you, miko." The inu lord replies. "We must have been separated by that creature's mist." She simply nods and says, "Oh."

"Was that weird thing one of Naraku's incarnations, and where are we now, do you know?" The miko asks the stoic lord beside her in desperation.

"I am not certain, perhaps it would be wise to survey our surroundings." The youkai suggests, finding this situation just as confounding.

As they walk they begin to find this odd new place stranger and stranger. They stay on alert, though they have yet to encounter any danger.

They come upon a forest filled with things that seem to be trees, though they have thin long, striped stems and a puffball on top instead of leaves.

Just as the impatient lord was about to slash a path through the odd trees with his claws, the sudden appearance of a small mustachioed creature gives him pause.

"I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues." Thinking of Bokuseno, Sesshomaru replies, "Foolish little vermin you obviously know nothing, I disagree!"

Shooting him a look of censure the miko tells the inu standing tall, "Don't be so rude! A person's a person no matter how small."

Addressing the Lorax she says, "Forgive us for almost damaging your trees. I'm Kagome and this is Sesshomaru. We're not from here and we'd like to go home, could you help us please?"

The Lorax looks at her with regret, "I cannot assist you but perhaps you should ask The Cat in the Hat." He told the mismatched duet.

"Okay, but which way should we go." Asked the time-hopping miko.

"No matter your path I'm sure he'll find you." With that the Lorax returns to his forest and Kagome turns to the silent lord. "So, where to?"

Ignoring her, he starts out on a path that skirts the strange forest. Used to his rudesss she shrugs and follows him while secretly thinking that the Lorax was just full of cuteness.

Suddenly she freezes mid-step. "Sesshomaru, did two fish just walk past us… one red and one blue?" Once again a "Hn," Is heard but she can tell he's surprised too.

It wasn't long before they did indeed come across a tall black and white cat who was strolling along whistling a jaunty tune and wearing a bowtie and big red and white striped hat.

Kagome is startled when she is tackled by two little beings dressed in red with wild blue hair on their tiny twin heads.

"Well hello there, I've never seen you in Seussville before. How exciting, you must be new!" said the cat with a bow and a cordial tip of his hat.

"I see you've already met thing one and thing two." Says the cat as Kagome gets to her feet with the 'things' stuck to her like glue.

"Um, are you The Cat in the Hat?" She asks. Though it was doubtful there were two such cats, in a place this strange she decided to make sure of that.

"At your service, it is I!" With a look of relief Kagome says, "We were told you might be able to help us get home." In reply the cat lets out a sigh.

"But my dear little lady wouldn't you rather stay and play?" coaxes the cat. Fed up with this nonsense Sesshomaru grabs the cat by the throat and hisses,

"What did you say? Listen you fool, you can either help us or die!" The frantic miko begins tugging at the arm of the angry taiyoukai.

"Sesshomaru please let him go! This isn't the way!" She cried. With a growl Sesshomaru releases his hold on the annoying cat's airway.

The livid Lord walks away with a huff, his clawed hand petting his fluff.

The miko comforts the frightened 'things' now buried in her hair, as she watches the lucky cat drag in some much needed air.

After regaining his composure the cat shoots a wary look at the fuming inu, before leaning in to Kagome and whispering afraid of exposure,

"Your friend over there wouldn't happen to be related to The Grinch by any chance?" At Kagome's negative response, the cat gives the lord a speculative glance.

"Never the less we should probably keep him away from the whos." He says, while the 'things' nod in unison. Just then Sesshomaru returns, his face impassive as if he never withdrew.

With everyone once again present, Kagome explains to the cat everything that has happened, even apologizing for Sesshomaru having been so unpleasant.

"Never fear young lady, the spell of The Garmooch is easily ended! To return to your home all you need is a smooch!"

The miko blushed, while the taiyoukai simply looked at the gregarious cat nonplussed.

"Now that this is settled, we'll bid you adieu." Says the cat, before turning with a wave and walking away followed by thing one and thing two.

A fidgeting Kagome turns to the icy, though handsome lord. "I'm sorry Sesshomaru, I'm sure instead of kiss me you'd rather swallow your sword."

Without a word he pulls her close, sealing his lips to her own. Surprisingly it was no quick peck, and so busy were they that it took them a while to realize they were no longer alone.

A throat clearing broke them apart, though they stayed close to one another's side and didn't depart.

Taking a look around they were relieved to see familiar scenery again, and comforted by seeing their companions around them; even though they currently had blushes affixed to their shocked faces that would not seem to dim.

"What happened to you two?" Asked the pretty slayer. "When we came to you were both gone. Then you pop up suddenly doing t-that!" You could see her blush gain another layer.

The miko tells her friends the story from where it started and by the time she finishes her tale the sky has darkened.

They conclude that it must have been Naraku's scheme, though unfortunately for him the miko and taiyoukai had turned his intended nightmare into a dream.

About their kiss there would never be any complaint, except maybe from the hanyou; that is if he ever wakes up from his shocked faint.

There you have it boys and girls, always remember opposites attract and that's a fact!

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**Thanks for reading!**


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